The toy, the plaything, the added extra :)

286723It’s actually pretty hard to know what to call her/it 🙂 not being into objectification or humiliation or stuff. But we are working on it 🙂

The first time was a bit of a blast, and you’ll have read about it in the other blogs.

Interestingly, there are some specific memories that are with me now (and will probably stay for always!) – spotty underwear (“ooh, mine are like that only with bigger spots”) and crying when she got paddled, and the bedroom picnic 🙂 Not to mention the swearing and the covering of bits.

Anyway – we’ve met since, both for play and at the midweek munch, with her Master, and we are creating an unusual, occasionally challenging but always fascinating dynamic.

It’s hard to get the balance right – between the protective instinct and the delight that he can do horrid things to someone else!!!

It’s also interesting to have someone to compare notes with, so to speak. She is opposite to the writer in some respects, wanting pain and objectification in a way that is really not desired here. But we are very similar in the service aspect of our submission.

If he wants to beat me then of course he can – but he struggles with it a bit, as he knows that he has a sub not a pain slut (and before going on, it may be sensible to make it clear – this isn’t being judgemental: it’s about using terms that people accept as generally expressive of BDSM traits). Because he is emotionally attached, it makes it harder not to be a bit soft on this girl (he says). Not that you’d notice, the way he flogs the **** out of this girl! But enough digression… When he sees that she can take and wants the pain of a beating, he can go ahead: he and she gets what they want. Getting to narrow eyes and hiss ‘you meanie’ – and cuddle her after – makes it more of a shared experience. It’s all good.

Anyway – it will be fascinating to see how things develop. He has plans for more wax play,

English: Wax play on nipple.
Photo credit: Wikipedia

which is messy fun! – and intends for all of us to work on the dynamic as well as protocols. The is also the likelihood of an event if we can synchronise diaries 🙂 she is to be in a collar and lead – guess who is meant to hold the other end? #aaaagh 😉

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My orgasms are his

acc2_be22This was agreed some time ago.

He wants a blog about it, partly to show yet again the lack of privacy he feels is reasonable in our relationship. Also because he knows it makes me think.

It came about because at the time he was the only provider but also because of the way it made (makes) him feel. It is not easy to orgasm and in many ways a distraction, being too hot/cold, tired, stressed etc., could all add to the problem. So his ability to take my orgasm became quite a big deal.

As part of our dynamic it was also important. So it does not mean that orgasms are banned when we are not together (though self-induced ones are) but

Ecstasy.
Ecstasy. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

that they have to be paid for, in a way that makes them his.

Usually it’s a spanking. Nothing major, but enough to remind me.

(originally posted on StrictlyNormal ), 25 April 2013.

A new (old) toy.

English: Engraving of needles used to prick su...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

acc2_be22My first experience of kinky usage of the finger pricker gadget used by some diabetics.

This blog arises out of some play we had recently – he used it on my nipples by way of ‘tenderising’ them (or perhaps I misheard and he was torturing them – either way, it worked!)

*Safety disclaimer: We are careful and used sterile needles and a sharps bin*

His gadget seemed to be ideal as it allowed him to set the depth of the strike, so to speak…

In this case it was also torture when he decided to tease me to orgasm with the promise of using the gadget on my clitoris at the point of completion. Initially it was hard to concentrate, but it got to to stage where it HAD to happen – as did the pricking. Only a tiny drop of blood but an immense rush 🙂

As is often the case, the pain was a lot worse in the prospect than it was in actuality.

He mentioned that, if we were going to do more play with the gadget in future, it might be sensible to have some antiseptic wipes to hand…

We bought some of those, yesterday 🙂

Originally blogged on IC, April 08.

Being a sex object

He says this is the case.

acc2_be22It has many negative connotations for women of my generation, of course… but it doesn’t feel quite the same when he explains. Perhaps it is because it is not a matter of being “only” a sex object. It is about being his, about being wanted, available, and loved.

The availability issue is interesting too – it isn’t about non-consent or feeling abused, or “taken”, more to do with feeling wanted and welcoming, It feels special for us that he is

Modelo: Edimar Rodriguez Iluminación: Ernesto ...
Modelo: Edimar Rodriguez Iluminación: Ernesto Gómez Fotografía: Gabriel Delgado (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

never made to feel that he needs to seek permission each time, that he has no need to resort to ‘DIY’ and that he finds me ready and willing.

How much this reflects our D/s dynamic and how much it arises from our caring about one another is not altogether clear. As so often is the way, it may be a mixture of both.

Originally posted to Informed Consent, February 2010

Hair – from IC, April 08

acc2_be22Mine is getting longer which, he says, is a Good Thing. It takes forever to dry, though – and as it is so fine, it does pretty well need to be washed every day. There is also more grey these days, so it is coloured. Nothing too wicked – a shade lighter than my natural one.

*sigh* When i was five, my hair was white blonde – it has darkened steadily ever since.

I’ve never been one for major hair re-vamps – an occasional “red” rinse has been about as extreme as it got.

So a recent conversation with someone who was aiming at purple hair for the Lash party struck a chord. Why would you want purple hair, I ask?

Then the Domly one wagged a warning finger (metaphoricaly speaking): he has plans for my hair, he says.

This requires an entry in the book, asap – hair may be grown/cut at his whim, but anything else is a hard limit!

What is it about the “crowning glory” thing for women? And, I’m sure, some men. It is part of me, something i can hide behind or show off, subject to mood. Something that can be useful, tied into rope. Grabbed and pulled. Used to dry something tender and loved after i have “washed” it clean. Why do i want to hold it back as mine and not his?

I don’t want to stand out: i am a shy, conservative (note the small c!) soul. I have changed enormously in terms of dress in recent months, and posture. People have noticed. All of a sudden – I am visible. I am told not to walk with my head down.

The idea of purple or, indeed, any other colour! – is scary as hell.

He may have been joking – but one can never tell and maybe that is why I woke at three a.m. feeling nervous.

Or maybe I was just missing him.

The higher you fly, the harder you fall

286723I’ve never been sure that I’ve actually experienced “sub drop”. I’m still not sure. And I’m definitely uncertain about the pleasure/pain principle. You know the one: if I enjoy myself, somewhere on the horizon is a figurative slap in the face that will “balance the books”.

But – the occasional “low” feeling after a play session, or even after a pretty intense D/s time, had nothing on the misery (yes, I’ve tried to find another less emotive word, but nothing else will do) for my feelings after what was very nearly a 28 hour “day” of amazing sensations and emotions.

OK, I am indeed greedy: i will grab sensations with both hands (assuming they are not bound) and throw myself in to experiences whole-heartedly.

I am also still a great believer in that synergy/vortex thing whereby I please him, he shows it, I try harder, he smiles, I try harder still.

So – I’m back on a more even keel now, and wondering: was it sub-drop? Or just a natural reaction to counter-balance the amazing highs? I may never know.

Originally written for my “Informed Consent” blog – March 08

Thoughts, not well expressed

286723It seems you persevered

Although pursuit seemed slow;

A deep considered pace

to make impatience grow.

So now we interlace

Both bodies and desire;

You seek no gentle sighs

But deep submissive fire.

Use sweet finesse of pain

To make my breath come fast:

I’ll beg that, once again,

Mild cruelty will last.

(From informedconsent.co.uk, March 08)