A new journey

aveburysarsenTNRegular readers know I live in a relaxed but formal protocol-based D/s dynamic. I am privileged to be introducing to our dynamic a occasional consensual plaything for myself and my partner.

Here are all the blogs we’ve written about this:

What we are trying to do

This third person wishes to be used, degraded, objectified and to be an outlet for the sadism that I only rarely do with my partner. I am creating a set of protocols that we will all use when we are together. I won’t introduce them all at the beginning, as it’s as much about the journey as the goal. The baseline is that this person obeys the same rules as my partner, but with less leeway.

I am thinking of ideas to lessen this person’s sense of identity, independence and autonomy in the home and when we attend events together. I am not all together sure that this will work given my partner’s protective nature:,an alternative may be to create a hierarchy using these Japanese naming protocols.

We know the person who wants to do this quite well: it has a strong need to serve and be useful but also wishes to be challenged (it’s not bratty). It wants a consensual non-consent dynamic in which things happen, within its limits, that it doesn’t like or want at the time: it feels uplifted by these experiences later and they get stored in the good memory bins in her bonce.

curvy_bottom is as excited as I am at having use of this person. My desired dynamic is that I am the dominant, my partner is the loved submissive and the object of this post is a useful plaything, treasured but, when present, used for our satisfaction, at my direction. She may turn out to be a depersonalised object or a human pet.

Our friend has her own fully committed M/s relationship and her partner is a person we know and respect. Everyone involved believes it is entirely positive for all concerned. If it isn’t it will stop.

I’ve made this a bigger deal than it is. It’s about an occasional play partner. But, for all of us, the headspace is the biggest thing – which is why I’m thinking hard about it all.

This page includes links to all the blogs I (and others involved) write about this. Right now, its new and we don’t know if it will last or where it will take us.

Links to blogs



I would welcome advice from people with any experience of anything like this. What do you think are the biggest challenges in making this work? What are the hurts, upsets and pitfalls that could affect any of us and which I should try to foresee? What are the triggers that, for just a few hours, turn a charming, exciting, human being into a willing object?

If any reader has been objectified like this, what makes it work for you?

All genuine advice is immensely welcome.

3 thoughts on “A new journey”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

WordPress.com News

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

The Pageist

One person's perversion is another's normality. --Julie Peakman

Magiksub's Blog

Smile! Soon…….

A dominant and submissive life

By Belasarius and curvy bottom, a British BDSM couple

Dispatches From Dystopia

"What man by worrying can add one cubit to his span of years?"


Our ordinary lives in an open marriage


"a dievca's World" --- exploring the sensual side of Fashion, Style, submission and Life.


The greatest aim to please Him!

Bondage Love

A place to discuss love, relationships, and sex!

Getting Little in the Middle

Info and experience diminishing waistlines with corsetry, by a corset professional and fanatic

The DD Side of Things

The ins and outs of my journey with my husband into our Domestic Discipline Lifestyle!

The Joyful Submissive

Everyone is either fucking everyone, fucking no one, or fucking just one. There there's me.

"Boys in Our Books"...

...we're keeping our name but expanding our offerings!

Submitted To Him

I'm Finally Surrendering...

Shamelessly Guiltless

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.” ~Oscar Wilde


BDSM, Dark Fantasy and Horror Stories by Venom

KinkyLittleGirl - On Abuse and BDSM

A compendium of resources and thoughts about abuse in the BDSM world, and a lot about abuse in general that is useful regardless of one's sexual preferences.


scream to god for death by drowning for one salt taste of the sea once more

A Dominants and submissives Rants & Raves

A Dominant & a submissive shares thoughts, personal stories & experiences.

%d bloggers like this: