Matched Pair 21 – A good going-over

Two was standing with her legs uncomfortably wide apart and had cupped her breasts in her hands, holding them straight ahead of her. Her nipples had been tweaked erect. She was looking at the floor.

c6552ac6446bcea8f2bdae10de169982_iThe girls were jolted from their sleep by the overhead light in the room flashing irregularly on and off and the Girl’s voice coming from an Amazon Echo speaker bracketed to the wall.

“Wakey, wakey… Wakey wakey,”

“Handwash each other quickly please, dry each other off and stand ready by your cot for inspection. No need for hair washes this morning.”

“You may pee and poo if you must”.

The girl repeated the instructions -and added: “Take care not to wash off your numbers.

“Two, take One’s cuffs off, please. You all have ten minutes”.

Women washing

A few moments later the Girl bustled in, slamming the door behind her, the four candidates had rushed into the bathroom and grabbed soap and flannels. Two and Three had already finished washing themselves down and were busy towelling themselves dry. “Gosh, he’ll notice y’know,” said the Girl – pointing to the tiny camera in the corner of the room: “I did say wash and dry each other – not yourselves”.  The girl, not naked this morning, but dressed only in denim dungarees, walked on into the bathroom where the other two were rubbing soapy hands all over each other. “Well, you’ve got the idea girls – but I do think you should try to get to know the others too. You seem to be doing an awful lot together”. They giggled.

“Hurry now – finish up and stand by your beds”. She gestured at Two as she re-entered the bedroom: “Not in your robe dear”.

“Quickly, quickly. Now – when he comes in he will inspect you – present yourselves proudly”.

There was a firm knock at the door. He entered. “Stand still” said the girl. The man kissed her and looked around. “You should all be tidier,” he said, “Two demerits each”. The girl produced the marker pen from the pocket in the apron of her dungarees.

He walked up to One, who was standing tall and straight, feet together, toes touching and hands by her sides. She was taller than the man and looked down into his eyes. They smiled at each other. He stepped back: “You don’t stand like that,”  he said, “not for inspection,” he indicated the girl opposite her; “look at Two”.

Two was standing with her legs uncomfortably wide apart and had cupped her breasts in her hands, holding them straight ahead of her. Her nipples had been tweaked erect. She was looking at the floor. One hurriedly copied.

“You don’t have breasts to speak of” he said, “just put your hands behind your back. And eye-contact is fine”.

He looked her up and down, He reached forward and probed between her legs. “She’s almost dry,” He told the girl. “Who got her ready this morning?”. He looked around the room. Five put her hand up, blushed and stuck it down again.

“You are all here to convince me you can be pleasing to me, and anyone like me.” He looked at each of them again “I’m not going to fuck any of you today, but you weren’t to know: How pleasing do you think you would be If your dominant wanted to use you – right now – and discovered he had to waste his or her time warming you up. You all want to be used and be useful don’t you?.” He raised his voice “Well, Don’t you?” They muttered and nodded assent. “Don’t you think you should start the day ready to be useful?”

“So, If you think you might be dry at any point today ask one of your colleagues to check and to make you wet. But only if you actually need it.

“And yes, I know about last night. He said. No more self-masturbation until you leave. Understood?”.

He turned back to One. “Turn round and touch your toes”. He held out his hand and the Girl produced a pack of wet-wipes from her dungaree pocket. He took one and ran it carefully up and down the crack between One’s buttocks. He lifted it out. unstained. He grunted. “Pull your cheeks apart”. He twisted the wet wipe around his index finger and gently pushed just the tip into One’s anus – and then, just as gently – eased it out. The cloth was no longer pristine.

“Not clean. Two demerits. And that would go for her partner too, had she had one. So a further two demerits for that”.

He put a hand on One’s back, holding her down whilst the girl added another six short black strokes to her buttock.

He looked up at the others: “It’s not just your pussy get’s used you know”.

The girls all looked at each other. No-one had, it seemed, taken the morning ablutions seriously enough.

He told One to stand up again and crossed the room to Two. “I see I don’t need to touch you, he said – she’d pushed out her pudendum and it was glistening. He raised her arms, sniffed her armpits and nodded, content. “Touch toes,” he said. A few seconds later he slapped her rump, told her to stand and moved on, satisfied.

Three passed muster too. Five was a different matter. All was well until she bent over. The cloth came up streaked with brown. He didn’t bother to inspect her hole.

“Eight demerits. Mark her.

“Girls, this is why you clean each other. When you’ve got a big arse like Five it can be tricky getting right into the crack – much easier if someone does it for you”.

Five knew that was it. She collapsed on her camp bed and sobbed. It must be over now.

He ignored her. He walked out.

Last: 20 – Insomnia

Back to start

Matched Pair 20 – Insomnia

She wriggled an arm out of her sleeping bag, raised a finger to her lips and licked it before joining the other two in celebrating One’s frustration.


c6552ac6446bcea8f2bdae10de169982_i“Two, two..” The whisper came from the next bed “come and get these cuffs off me, please”.

Two thought about it. “No.

“C’mon Two, I can’t sleep like this”.

“No. I’m supposed to be responsible for your ‘good behavior and safety’. I don’t want any more demerits so I’m staying put”.

“Awww c’mon Two,” said One: “I really can’t sleep like this. How will they know?”.

There were giggles from the bed in the corner. “I can play with myself,” said Five, slowly, deliberately. Then she uttered a rather-too-obvious moan and giggled again.AaahA

“Shut up Five, I just meant I can’t sleep with my hands behind my back”.

“Course, you did,” said Three, beginning a series of little, suggestive moans and groans.

Two smiled: “Sorry One, I’m a good girl you see – I do as I’m told.

“It’s been a long day, I need to unwind”. She wriggled an arm out of her sleeping bag, raised a finger to her lips and licked it before joining the other two in celebrating One’s frustration.

Last: 19 – Bed time

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Don’t blame it on the boobie

286723Written by curvy_bottom

Sitting in bed on Sunday morning and looking down at the bruises and marks on the breast he concentrated on, on Friday night.

After a shower and putting on red leather cuffs, he had prepared a seat facing the full length mirror-doors on the wardrobe.
imageHe started with the suction screws* to ‘wake the nipples up’ (*not sure how else to describe them: they are clear plastic tubes with cream coloured screws mechanisms that move the black rubberised plastic seals up the tubes). They can be quite ouchie when the screws are turned too quickly, tbh.

Then it was time to start with some fine red rope to tie up each breast – which meant it was then pretty difficult to keep the suction things on – he adjusted them a bit more every few minutes but they are still easy to knock off when manipulating the rope. So they were put to one side (after being knocked off twice each).

imageHe began to add the clips/pegs – difficult as the breasts were ‘tight’ – but he managed, five on the left (while he used the table tennis bat (#see below) on the right breast before moving on to slapping by hand).
He was explaining that he wanted to assess any difference in applying needles to the left breast that had been properly pre-tenderised compared to one that had ‘only’ been pegged. He takes these things very seriously, you know.  He confused me by reference to the ‘baseball bat’ for s moment – not big on sports!
His earlier instruction not to cry (so that he wasn’t tempted to stop) was proving harder to respect – the breasts (not just the nipples) were burning by this point.

imageHe then applied pegs to the right breast – these are black plastic and referred to on the container as ‘mini’ clips. Have you seen the big version, used to hold wood together while the glue dries? Yes well they are that sort but about an inch-and-a-half, or thereabouts. There are little yellow grips (harder, ridged plastic) that help them stay on. Again, ouchie stuff. Also good at producing little straight line red marks or bruises (depending on how much skin they pinched).
Once the pegs were taken off (during which time he had prepared the needles) the breasts were well enough tenderised for his purposes. The needles went in with the usual ‘pop’ as they pierced the skin – and lots of stifled groans of pain. He started with the right breast (less pre-treatment) and the first 2 were sore . But the third was agonising and unfortunately a wriggle meant it scratched me – so there was a pause whilst he licked off the blood, and then readied me to have another go.

imageThe needles seemed to go into the tenderised breast more easily (he said) – they still hurt like billyo though! By that time the subject was a bit floaty but also grizzled like a child.
Amazingly, two hours had passed!

Finally he felt it was time to remove the needles and again there was a small issue with bleeding (this time the left breast) when the needle was withdrawn (though they all felt the same, with a bit of a dragging sensation as they were pulled out). He insisted on counting, 1 2 3 pull, each time. Surprisingly annoying.
Again, he was happy to lick up the blood and actually sucked quite hard in case more was available. My own personal vampire …

It was strange to be woken at intervals on the night as there seemed to be no comfortable way of sleeping – once it felt that the breasts had ‘stuck’ to his back!
It was very sore, peeling them off!
Oddly the very worst of the stinging and burning was the next day, putting on a bra before going out shopping.

Today the bruising on the left breast is very noticeable – as are the three needle entry points. The right breast is less bruised and the needle points barely visible – but more marked by the pegs and the bat (or more likely the hand).
Sorry if this seems to be a bit detached – the more emotional response will follow in a day or two.

Matched Pair 19 – Bed time

c6552ac6446bcea8f2bdae10de169982_iThe door at the end of the room opened. The Girl held it open and the man entered, clapping slowly, loudly, ironically.

“Get her down from there”, he said “All of you, go stand with your noses to the wall, – he indicated the wall beside the door he had entered through. “Tallest on the right, shortest on the left”.

They did as bid. One, Two and Three waited for Five to hobble over and take her place at the left of the line. The man took hold of her and moved her into the space next to One “That’s where you would be if none of you were wearing shoes”.

“You go everywhere in this order unless I say otherwise”, he told them.

“Right, Girl, the marker”.

“One, five demerits for releasing the rope. Twenty demerits for pleasuring herself. Ten demerits for contributing to the overall chaos”.

One felt The Girl carefully mark seven groups of slashes on her buttock.

“Five. One merit for helping Two to come. Five merits for taking the rope off Two’s throat. Ten demerits for general sloppiness”.

The Girl marked Five. Two groups of five black strokes and six red slashes.

“Two. Ten demerits for taking part and not paying due care and attention. Ten demerits for opening your mouth when you came”.

“Three. The standard ten, and ten for not concentrating on what you were doing. Five for letting your balls drop”.

“All of you – a further ten demerits for dropping my whiskey”.

The Girl went along the line again marking their skin.

“Very good. Turn around”.

“It’s clean-up time”.

“Three, fill yourself please. One – go with my girl and get the cleaning materials. Five – my girl will show you the kitchen, you are washing up. Three and Two, help the others”.

It took about half an hour to set everything to rights.  The Girl, naked but for a tailored red apron, then busied them back down into the basement.

“Bedtime everyone”.

The Girl ushered them into the barred room with the camp beds. “There’s a big potty there if anyone needs it in the night. And if you need water it’s over there” – she indicated the  the left of the door where four water dispensers, the kind rabbits use, had been wired to the bars.

“One, I have to handcuff you – he thinks you’ll be fingering yourself again”. The girl turned One around and, taking a pair of heavy, antique handcuffs from the end of one of the beds she cuffed her, unscrewing the key so One was secure. The key was on a leather lanyard. She draped that over Two’s neck. “There”, said The Girl “You are responsible for her good behaviour – and safety”.

“Two, come here please and present yourself”. Two looked confused.

“That means stick your pussy out dear”. The Girl knelt, took some shears from the pocket of her apron and delicately snipped the stitches holding two’s labia together, pulling the threads gently out of her skin. She took a sachet from the apron pocket and tore it, taking out a sterile wipe to rub over Two’s sore parts.

The Girl made sure they all emptied their holes and cleaned their plugs and balls with sterile wipes, placing them, and their shoes in their little sacks. then she chivvied them into their sleeping bags. She went along the row and kissed them all goodnight. When she came to Three the kiss became a snog: “It’s not because you are special, it’s because you need to get used to girls”, she said, holding the woman’s chin firmly as Three drew back.

The Girl stepped back through the bars and locked the grill shut. She placed the key in a screwtop jar on the floor just inside reach on the far side of the gate, next to a small torch. “Just for emergencies dears – there will be hell to pay if you use it otherwise”.

The Girl blew them a kiss and retreated. She called “Night” at the top of the stairs before switching off the light and closing the basement door.

Their cell was utterly dark.

Last: 18 – Release

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Matched Pair 18 – Release

c6552ac6446bcea8f2bdae10de169982_iThe women looked at the man. and at Two, who was trying to speak. She spluttered, realising just how effective a gag she’d been given. She’d never not been able to speak through a gag before but realised the jeopardy of two crystal decanters full of precious brandy and whiskey made all the difference. If she failed to grip with her teeth everything could come crashing down. She suspected that would be worth way more than five demerits. Whatever a demerit was.

“Hush” The man looked down at Two. “Nothing you have to say is of any worth now. You are just a sewn-up cunt that must be made to come. I’m interested in how your friends do it. Not in what it does to you”.

“Keep the legs apart” he said taking the ropes the Girl had been pulling on and handing one to Five and the other to One.

The man took The Girl by the hand and they left the room.

One, Three and Five looked at each other and again at Two.

“Guess it’s down to you” One said to Three, “We’ve got ropes to tend”.

Two could see nothing but the chandelier suspended over her. She could feel nothing but the weight of the gag. She could hear Three protest, panic in her voice: “I’ve never touched a woman”. “You’ve touched yourself haven’t you?” one of the others said. “Okay – let’s just say I don’t want to touch another woman”. “That’s instant failure” said the other voice: “Do you really think he’ll want someone who can’t touch his girl. It’ll be the train home for you in the morning”.

Two just wanted them to get on with it. She wanted to come. Couldn’t they see her stretching and gripping the edge of the table? She knew she could come right now. She could feel it building inside her. It had been building since the first push, pop and pull of the needle through her flesh. She’d only been terrified for an instant before the needle touched her. Since then she’d just wanted to come. She was all mixed up as to why though. It wasn’t the pain – though that’d been good. It was more that she felt chosen and humiliated at the same time. Humiliated because she hadn’t been able to hold in her steel balls, chosen because she had been the first to get his personal attention.

Three was thinking. She was sure the man would be watching. She looked up at the CCTV cameras in the corners of the room.

‘In for a penny’ She thought: “Right – well, if I can’t do this I’d be pretty useless helping him with his girl” she said out loud. She used the thumb and forefinger of one hand to part the top of Two’s flaps and moistened a finger ready to apply to the clitty.

“He’s sewn over it” Two heard Three say.

“Try rubbing through her lips then” said another voice.

It was One that was doing all the talking. Five was just holding on to her rope and watching as Three placed he finger just below the top black knot in Two’s pussy, pushing Two’s labia left, over to where she thought the woman’s clitty might be.

Two wanted to push toward the probing finger but realised she would slide down the table if she did. She wanted Three to move her finger faster and straight up and down. She didn’t need warming up. But she couldn’t tell her. She tried pushing her pussy up and down but Two wasn’t taking any notice.

Then Three did speed up, Two didn’t care that she was quite dry under her sewn-together lips. She knew her cunt was full of juice but being full and sewn meant there was no way her juices could help her.  She was hot, her breath was short and gasping, she was stretching every muscle. She was right there: She was going to come. And then one of the man’s deft knots caught her right under the bottom of her clitoris as Three rubbed vigorously up and down. Instantly she wasn’t “there” anymore. It wasn’t agonising. Not really even painful. Just surprising enough to take her off the crest of a wave.

“Have you come?” Three spoke. “I don’t think she has”  One said. Two shook her head, shaking the decanters just before she realised that a nod instead would have brought this to an end for all of them. A lie would have made it all so easy.

Five had a thought “Try putting your fingers down behind her pussy-lips. You can get at her clitty direct that way”. Three shook her head, “I’m facing the wrong way”. “Get on the table” said One.

Three crawled under the leg rope Five was holding, stood and clambered up onto a chair and then the table. She knelt over Two and, supporting herself with her left arm, pushed an experimental finger down between the neat line of stitches. “She’s dry”. Three raised her finger to her mouth. “There’s lube on the tray” said Five. One reached over and took the tube. she flipped open the top and, with her other hand,  stretched the stitched tunnel over Two’s clitty and hole as far up as she could. As she  squeezed an unnecesarily large amount of gel onto her target she could see a steel ball peeking out of the woman’s vagina. She stretched a finger down and pushed it back in, releasing the labia and returning to gentle, rhythmic rubbing of the area around Two’s clitoris.

Five looked over at One. The tall, elegant girl had wrapped the end of the rope she was holding between her legs and was riding it. One closed her eyes, her lips parted. And reddened. “He didn’t say you”. “He didn’t say not”.

Three loved the feeling of Two’s constrained finger, which was moving faster and more firmly directly over her hood. She could feel herself stiffening, not just where Two was persistently rubbing but all over. She wanted to straighten her legs and her toes. She gripped the table even more firmly. Before she closed her eyes she saw Two lean forward over her to get a better angle on what she was doing. Then she felt Two’s weight and felt her begin to grind back and forth on Three’s chest.

Two was abandoning herself to the pure need that was mounting in her clitty and working to let it take over her mind when she  felt a new sensation. Opening her eyes again Two carefully tilted her head to the left. She could see that Five had carefully moved around the table, taking care to keep her rope taut, and had leaned over to take Three’s left nipple into her mouth. Five’s suckling was frustratingly gentle.

She felt her right leg suddenly come free and, involuntarily, snapped it back tight against her left, trapping Three’s finger which was now moving over her bare clit, fast and hard.

Looking right she could see One, flushed and blushing, dip to take her other nipple into her mouth. She nipped it with her teeth and sucked hard taking in the entire nipple and aureole. It burned. To her left, Five had stopped sucking and was licking all around the base of Two’s other teat.

Two felt the heat spread through all of her body. She knew a few more strokes would bring that sudden explosion she needed. She knew that feeling of unquenchable need would, in a few seconds, be overcome with pulsing pleasure and then the feeling of completeness and satisfaction that was the real reward of orgasm. She could no longer help anything she did: Two pushed her head back into the unyielding tabletop and opened her mouth and laughed.

Instantly the rope gag flew out of her mouth. The weight of the two decanters snapped the thick rope cylinder over her chin and down onto her windpipe. It knocked the breath out of Two and made it near impossible to take air in. She came harder.  A new, second peak. Her eyes bulged. “Help” she choked. Five hauled the rope up. Two leapt up off her chest, her cunt farting as she did and her steel balls plopping out, dropping onto Three’s tummy. The whiskey decanter swung wildly and smashed into the leg of a chair, leaving shards of glass and a peaty, smoky aroma rising from the oriental rug.

Last: 17 – Reward

Next: 19 – Bed Time

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What we spend on BDSM toys

This is the eighth article about the results of the BDSM and Money Survey. I asked people to say which types of BDSM toys they had spent money on since their interest began.

A further article will look at what dominants and submissives and switches said about their spending on toys.

Deutsch: Angebot an BDSM-Artikeln und Sexspiel...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What we like play with

The survey asked people to say which of the  following types of toys they had spent money on:

  • Bondage – 84%
  • Impact play – 82%
  • Other – 64%
  • Medical play – 37%
  • Play piercing – 31%

I did not ask for more detail of what “Other” might be. I may follow this up sometime, especially as there seems a difference here in the responses I got from each side of the Atlantic.

US vs UK


UK respondents said they were a little more likely to buy stuff for tying people up and beating them than said people from the USA. 86% of UK respondents said they had bought bondage gear (81% US) and 85% of UK respondents had bought stuff for impact play (79% US). But US respondents were more likely to spend on “Other” BDSM stuff – 70% vs the UK’s 62%.

Gender differences

TP Gender

Women respondents were less likely to have bought bondage materials (82% vs 88% of men) but were more likely to have bought stuff for play piercing (33% vs 27%) and medical play (39% vs 33%).

BDSM Orientation

TP Orientation

Top/dominant respondents were more likely to have spent money on any area of play. Bottoms/submissives were least likely (other than in medical play). Switches were the second most likely group to have spent money on each area of toy choice, other than medical play.

BDSM Component

TP Component

There was a big difference in the popularity of play piercing between dominants/submissives and the other two groups. Whilst only 24% of dominants/submissives had bought stuff for play piercing 42% of masters/slaves had needles and 47% of sadists/masochists had bought sharps.

Sadists/masochists were the only group more likely to have spent money on impact toys rather than bondage.

The dataset

Up to 385 people answered this question. 304 said they were from the UK, 122 from the USA and 25 from other countries. 239 respondents said they were female and 192 said they were male. 206 said they were bottoms/submissives, 150 said they were tops/dominants and 94 said they were switches. 286 people said they were dominants/submissives, 93 said sadists/masochists and 71 masters/slaves.

Other BDSM and Money Articles

The BDSM surveys

What is dominance and submission to me?


aveburysarsenTNOK – usual health warning. This is a personal point of view and I’m not disrespecting what works for others. This is what these things mean to me.

Our dominant and submissive relationship is based on being the best we can be for each other. We’ve previously defined it as being equal and opposite. It is – but it is also complementary and it is always our aim to minimise compromise.images

Our dynamic is founded on strength and responsibility, service and obedience – and there are dominant and submissive aspects to each of these.


This seems to be a given for the dominant (but I know there are times when I am not strong). It’s sometimes assumed that obedient, non-resistant (the reverse of bratty?) submission is doormat-like and not worthy of respect – because submission is based on resistance that must be overcome by the dominants strength.

That’s not my view.

It’s easy/lazy for both partners in a service/obedience based D/s dynamic  just to pay lip service to what is required. But delighting your partner always takes effort and subsumes self. And that’s a job for both.

She never stops delighting me. I hope I do the same for her. But it’s especially difficult for the submissive to be true to her part of the dynamic when it doesn’t suit. Often simple submission takes strength.


For me (and my partner) this goes a lot wider than just us (and just BDSM). We both reckon that if more people took their responsibilities seriously there would be less need for rights.

For me as a dominant it means I need to use what she has consented to for my satisfaction, but as safely as I can and not abusively. It means I make it possible for her to give me what I want by taking away concerns and worries that stop her doing so.

This includes domestic trivia. I’ll cook if she needs time to do her nails.


Service for us is partly ritualistic. There are small but important things we do (I plait her at bedtime, she makes her obeisance when she leaves the room) which keep us in our places. But they aren’t the essence of who we are – just a way we remind ourselves and each other of who we are.

Service is asymmetric. Mostly she gives and I receive. But it is freely given and something she wishes to give. It’s not a chore to her – it makes me glow and that makes her feel powerful.

She is also the power behind my throne . When I weaken she holds me up. That too is service.


BDSM couple, top, bottom in handcuffs, on Euro...
BDSM couple, top, bottom in handcuffs, on Europride Cologne (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Obedience is something I earn. It is the reward I get for making her feel secure, desired. cared for and respected. If it needs to be enforced then we both have failed.

Obedience will not always be easy. Like service, it is part of who she wants to be, even when it doesn’t suit her: It is only real when it isn’t optional. And that means I have to enforce it – even when I’m in the mood to be laissez faire – or not in the mood for much: She isn’t who she wants to be unless she feels controlled and respected for her obedience.

Pro Dom/mes – what they said about money.

aveburysarsenTNThis is the eighth article about the results of the BDSM and Money Survey. It details some of the answers given by the 41 pro-dom/mes who answered the survey. It’s a small group so this is really just for interest only. I might try to do a larger survey some time on this community. It’d be great to get comments from people in this line of work.


LH0931LK_0788The survey asked people to say which quintile of US or UK income they fell into.

The most common response for Pro Dom/mes answering the survey was the second quintile (“More than £13,000 or $11,000 but less than £20,000 or $29,000”), which they were much more likely to fall into than the population as a whole, and a little more likely than all the people who took part in the survey.


six out of ten of the pro dom/mes responding said they were bisexual. Only one respondent said they were homosexual. The rest declared heterosexuality.

More than half said they were Tops/dominants. One in five each said they were either submissive or switch. Half said they were sadists/masochists, a third dominants/submissives and a fifth that their dynamic was Master/mistress and slave.

The top three BDSM components were, first to third, control, bondage and fetish. Pain came fourth.

AZ quarter of the sample offered pro-sub services in addition to pro-dom/me services. Four out of ten also offered other sex worker services.


A third said they were not in a relationship and a similar (slightly lower) proportion said that their BDSM relationship was their only relationship.


Three-quarters say they play in private and just less than that play in public.

Just over half have sex with people they play with.

BDSM Spending

In a list of nine areas of leisure spending  BDSM came top in order of importance by this group ahead oh holidays, family events and eating out (second, third and fourth).

Nearly three-quarters had spent money on tattoos and just under two-thirds had spent money on body piercings.

Two thirds had spent money on dungeon hire and a third on other people’s pro services.

Nearly all had spent money on shoes and boots and around two-thirds had spent money on latex/rubber (the least common type of fetish wear bought).

The dataset

41 people who said they were pro-dom/mes answered the survey. 27 said they were from the UK, 12 from the USA and two from elsewhere.  31 said they were female, eight male and two other. Two were excluded because their answers appeared to be falsified.

Most said they were in employment – 11 saying they worked up to 34 hours per week and 18 saying they worked 35 hours or more.

Other survey articles

The BDSM surveys

What we spend on what we wear – part two; Doms, subs and switches

aveburysarsenTNThis is the seventh article about the results of the BDSM and Money Survey. I asked people to say which types of fetish clothing they had spent money on since their interest in BDSM began.

This article looks at what dominants and submissives and switches said about their spending on different types of fetish wear.

What we like to wear

The survey asked people to say which of the  following fetish wear items they had spent money on since their interest in BDSM began:images

  • Other – 70%
  • Shoes and boots – 67%
  • Symbols of ownership – 58%
  • Corsets – 57%
  • Leather – 49%
  • Latex/rubber – 32%

It appears that, in most areas bottoms/submissives are more likely to have spent money on fetish clothing than either tops/dominants or switches – but only just: Across all items listed an average of 59% of bottoms/submissives had spent money on something, compared with 58% of tops/dominants (so near it makes no difference). Switches were a lot less likely to have purchased fetish wear of any kind – only 44% had.

Fetish clothing purchase by BDSM orientation

As seen in the list above “other” fetish wear is the most likely purchase area reported by all respondents. HoweverTops/dominants were equally likely to have spent money on “symbols of ownership” (72% – just ahead of their likelihood of spending on “other” – 71%). The most likely spending area for switches was “shoes and boots” (55%) and bottoms/submissives were most likely to have invested in “other” – 78%.

Tops and Dominants

Female dominant respondents spent more widely on fetish clothing than did the men who answered the survey. An average of nearly three-quarters of women said they had spent on fetish wear, compared with just over half of men. Women tops/dominants were more likely to have spent on fetish wear than men in every area listed.

Have spent money on clothing item - Tops:dominantsWomen tops/dominants were more than twice as likely to have spent money on corsets than men and three times as likely to have bought latex/rubber wear.

Symbols of ownership were the most popular area of spending recorded by male tops/dominants (70%), whilst women tops/dominants who responded rated them third, after corsets and shoes & boots.


As with Tops/dominants, female switch respondents were more likely to have spent money on each area of fetish wear listed. On average 31% of male switches had spent money on fetishwear, compared with 55% of women of the same orientation.

Have spent money on clothing item - Switches


The biggest difference was in “corsets” where 48% more women than men had made a buy. 34% more women had also purchased fetish shoes or boots and 27% more had bought latex or rubber wear.

However, only 8% of male switches reported buying rubber, compared to 35% of women – this means female switch respondents are more than f0ur times as likely to have rubber or latex in their wardrobe.


Bottoms/submissives who responded said they were slightly less likely to have spent on BDSM clothing than Tops/dominants and slightly more likely to have spent than had switches. an average 49% of male bottom/submissive respondents said they had spent on fetish wear since the beginning of their interest in BDSM, compared with 61% of women.

The most likely spending area for bottom/submissive respondents was corsetry (a third of men and three-quarters of women). Women were also much more likely to have spent money on shoes and boots.

Have spent money on clothing item - Bottoms:submissivesBottoms/submissives are the only BDSM orientation where male respondents were more likely to have purchased some items than women.

Men were slightly more likely than women to say they had bought leather clothing (men – 49%; women – 43%).

But men were much more likely than female respondents to say they had bought rubber or latex items at some point (men – 44%; women – 32%).

Level of spending on fetish clothing items

5715eef870b1d860efa206a8d02236adAs with the previous post on spending on clothes (a USA/UK comparison) I tried to calculate an average amount spent on each clothing area by taking the midpoint of each range I’d asked people
to say their total spending on an item fell into (other than the top range “more than £/$10,000”, where I just used £/$10,000) and then dividing the total of reported spending by the number of people who’d said they’d spent money on that type of clothing to give some sort of average spend per person. I didn’t analyse this sample into US/UK respondents, so the figure used bears no relation to spends in either UK pounds or US dollars – all one can say is that it gives a relative measure of the amounts all respondents said they had spent on different types of fetish clothing.

Level of spend on Fetish clothing item

Switches spent less than either tops/dominants or bottoms/submissives in every area except one – rubber/latex and in that area switches spent really big – more than three times as much as they did on the two areas they rate joint second (Leather and Other). For tops/dominants rubber/latex was the clothing type they had spent the second most on (shoes and boots cam first – 9% ahead). Bottoms/submissives spent most on “other”, 4o% more than their second biggest spending area – latex/rubber .

The dataset

Up to 384 people answered this question. The sample breaks down as follows:


People could choose not to answer the questions – so totals don’t always add up.

Other survey articles

The BDSM surveys

What we spend on what we wear – part one; US vs UK

aveburysarsenTNThis is the sixth article about the results of the BDSM and Money Survey. I asked people to say which types of fetish clothing they had spent money on since their interest in BDSM began.

Further articles will look at what dominants and submissives and switches said about their spending on 2012NewLaceEmbossingAsPictureSpecialOccasionPowerNetWaistLowWaistForSaleLS56471-0clothes.

This article is about US vs US kinksters who responded to the survey. When it comes to what we spend on what we wear the respondents had a lot in common – and a couple of surprising differences.

What we like to wear

The survey asked people to say which of the  following fetish wear items they had spent money on:

  • Other – 70%
  • Shoes and boots – 67%
  • Symbols of ownership – 58%
  • Corsets – 57%
  • Leather – 49%
  • Latex/rubber – 32%

Overall,  British respondents were more likely to spend money on BDSM clothing than people from the USA (The UK mean for spending on BDSM Clothing was 59%, the US mean was 52%), with the exception of leather – where the USA was 2% more likely to have spent on leather (not a big difference really).

Brits seem to like their shoes and boots more than Yanks: just under two-thirds of Americans have spent money on fetish footwear whilst just over three-quarters of British respondents said they’d spent in this area.Clothingspend

The most striking difference was in Latex/rubber. US respondents said they were a lot less likely to have spent money on latex/rubber than their UK equivalent: Less than a quarter (22%) of people who said they were from the USA had invested in this area, whilst more than a third (37%) of UK respondents had spent on latex/rubber.

However people who spend on rubber spend big. I tried to calculate an average amount spent on each clothing area by taking the midpoint of each range I’d asked peopleDeMask 2004 Catalogue (17) to say their total spending on an item fell into (other than the top range “more than £/$10,000”, where I just used £/$10,000) and then dividing the total of reported spending by the number of people who’d said they’d spent money on that type of clothing to give some sort of average spend per person. To enable comparison I converted $ to £ at the date of writing (26 July 2015 $1=£0.64). Not only do exchange rates rise and fall, but buying power in the US tends to be larger than in the UK, or so I’m told – so these figures are very debatable.

What they show is that people who said they had bought latex/rubber wear spent an awful lot more on it than survey completers said they spent on any other area of fetish wear. Rubberists, since their interest in BDSM started, said they had spent an average of £739 on rubber and latex clothing (£795 for UK respondents and £682 (equivalent = £1,066) for USA respondents. That’s  56% more than the next highest spending category (Other).


The dataset

Up to 384 people answered this question with up to 104 saying they lived in the USA and up to 261 saying they came from the UK. Respondents from other countries were included under “all” in this analysis but otherwise excluded.

Other BDSM and Money Articles

The BDSM surveys

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