Adding a third – the dominant’s perspective.

I’ve long fantasised about having a series of uninvolved “thirds” to add a new dimension to our play. I always assumed it would be a one-off – maybe a few one-offs if we were lucky. We’ve been fortunate enough, in the past, to have this with people we like, and it’s been good (c_b likes me to have “holiday cover” and tries to arrange it). I hadn’t considered that it would be likely that we would establish a new long-term dynamic involving a third person, but that is what is happening.

As it emerged that this was likely I was beset with excitement, a deep desire to give it a go and… Worries.

Firstly, curvy_bottom and I both knew the couple concerned (totallycoverme and Dragonfyre42) relatively well and liked them a lot. I didn’t want to disrupt that.

Big stuff

Both the couples involved have a big love thing going on. I needed to understand not just the impact on my relationship this might have but also the ethical/moral issues arising from the possible changes this would create in the other couple’s relationship. I didn’t feel I could encourage this to develop unless I was as sure as I could be that it would strengthen things for all and not weaken or disrupt them.

I am also an exhibitionist and I thought blogging on this from the beginning would be fascinating for me, the others involved and a bit of an audience (it has – views on my blog have tripled). I knew this might not work either at the beginning or in the early stages and I did not want to raise participants’ expectations. It still could fail, I guess. I’m exposing myself and don’t want to look too much of a prat!

Small stuff

There were other, less important issues too:

• The girls involved fancy each other like crazy – how would I feel about that?
• The third person wants to be objectified and used. Tricky, because she is difficult to see other than as a whizzingly energetic, positive enthusiast for life. I need to keep some distance.
• Part of the reason for this is to give me an outlet for a degree of sadism I wont offer to curvy_bottom (the love thing gets in the way). But she likes the person too and is always caring to my victims – on a continuing basis (and not a one-off) would this work?
• I wanted to create a sex toy for curvy_bottom and I – if i was to succeed the third would need to realise that she would never be centre of attention at these moments. could that work?

Well, so far, all has been better than well 🙂

First, both have a huge service dynamic and respect for authority, and I have managed to be effective enough to be respected by them.

Second, the two girls love playing together, in a subby way and this makes me feel like king of the world (The first time they worked together to shave my bits was a magical, giggly experience).

Third, having met and talked things through with totallycoverme’s master I am absolutely content that both see this as very positive and that we all know our boundaries.

Fourth, when curvy_bottom and I make love totallycoverme loves to be used and feels pleased as punch to help out. She never gets involved other than as a toy. She does have opportunities for sexual satisfaction in a non-penetrative way that are always completely separate in time and space from being our helpful toy.

Fifth, curvy_bottom is enjoying having someone to protect. And someone to have girly, subby conversations with.

Last, we all (four – not three ) want the dynamic to grow and have clear and similar ideas on how it could evolve.

So, I’ve set my initial concerns aside. I shall try to be objective in future so I notice tensions before they hurt things. But I’m getting committed rather than involved.