Safewords – new, more detailed poll – Please take part

BelasariusBack in October I designed a poll on safewords and more than eighty people then on Informed Consent did a pilot version. I’ve taken their comments into account and have now published it on survey monkey, here.

The survey takes less than five minutes, is anonymous, and you get to see the results as soon as you finish the last question.

I am incredibly grateful to all who took part in the pilot and to all who take part now.

When I have a couple of hundred responses, I will publish the results on this blog and link to them from fetbook and fetlife.

The results of my earlier, one question poll on safewords are on this blog, here. I suggest you only look at that AFTER you’ve completed the survey above (If you want to of course).

And, if you want to take part in my continuing polls on BDSM definitions, you can do so here.

Once again, thanks to all who take part.

Who uses safewords? Results

standing stoneThree day’s ago I put up a one question PollDaddy  poll on safewords. I closed the poll at 9:15 am on Thursday 9 August 2012.

These are the results. 320 people responded, of whom  11 said they weren’t BDSM people, so they didn’t answer the question. Of the rest, there were 161 submissives, 105 dominants and 43 switches. As with the other surveys I’ve done there always seems to be more interest among submissives, and dominants seem to take more of an interest as the completion deadline looms.

The results, surprisingly (at least to me) show that a clear majority of those that responded do not use safewords, especially if they are in relationships.

The question asked was: “Please tick the answer that most resembles you and your attitude to safewords”

The chart below shows the answers given by all respondents. Most came from the UK, where I promoted the survey on Informed Consent and Fetlife Up to a fifth may have come from other countries, mostly the USA, with maybe a quarter of the non UK responders coming from other European countries.

Dominants

Two-thirds of dominants said they were more likely not to use a safeword.

Dominants Actual %
Mostly use safeword 36 34%
Mostly don’t use safeword 69 66%
Total 105

Submissives

Submissive respondents agreed with dominants, in the same proportions.

Submissives Actual %
Mostly use safeword 54 34%
Mostly don’t use safeword 107 66%
Total 161

Switches

Three out of four switches said they were more likely to use a safeword than not.

Switches Actual %
Mostly use safeword 32 74%
Mostly don’t use safeword 11 26%
 Total 43  

People in relationships

People in relationships said they were the least likely to use a safeword of any group (only a quarter said they did).

In relationships Actual %
Mostly use safeword 46 24%
Mostly don’t use safeword 147 76%
Total 193  

People interested in scenes and play

Two thirds said they used safewords

Play and scenes Actual %
Mostly use safeword 76 66%
Mostly don’t use safeword 40 34%
Total 116

 

Symbols of ownership: How do people wear them?

BelasariusIn the symbols of ownership survey I asked people about how and when they wore their symbols of BDSM ownership.

210 people did the survey and 177 answered this question. 10 said they were Tops, 19 Bottoms, 61 – Dominants, 116 – Submissives and 22 identified as switches.

Their answers were as follows:

Top Bottom Dominant Submissive
I have no symbols of ownership. 70% 32% 70% 15%
I wear them all, all the time? 20% 5% 26% 11%
I wear some of them, some of the time? 5% 18%
I wear some of them all the time? 5% 21%
All of them visible when wearing normal clothing 2% 8%
Some are visible when wearing normal clothing 10% 16% 2% 18%
None aree visible when wearing normal clothing 2%
I only wear them/show them in BDSM settings 37% 8%

I’ve highlighted the most common answer in each column in blue and the second most common in red.

They are charted below.

BDSM

Key points

  • Tops and dominants are equally likely NOT to have any symbols of ownership (70%) but, when they did, they wore them all the time (20% – T and 26% – D).BDSM couple, top, bottom in handcuffs, on Euro...
  • Bottoms and submissives were more likely to wear some symbols of ownership (32% of bottoms and only 15% of submissives had NO symbols of ownership) but a relatively low percentage wore them all the time (5% – B, 11% – S).
  • Bottoms and switches were more likely to only wear symbols of ownership in a BDSM setting (37% – B, 45% – Sw)

If you found this interesting or useful, please think about doing the BDSM and Money survey, on the impact of BDSM on people’s pockets. Current results will be visible once you have completed the survey

BDSM people and multiple or poly relationships

BelasariusI’ve taken the data referred to here from the responses of the  210 people who responded to my BDSM ownership and symbology survey, done through surveymonkey.

However, my earlier “BDSM styles and relationships” survey had a question on this as well – I’ll add data from the much larger response to that survey to this blog when I have time.

I’d prefer to talk about this data as relating to multiple, rather than polyamorous or “poly” relationships, because I’d define the latter as transparent to all and mostly with respect and affection between all parties. There was no way of knowing whether this was the case or not for most  of the answers.

So, in the BDSM ownership and symbols survey we asked people to choose from six options that defined their relationships. Here are the responses, charted and as a table.Answers from BDSM ownership and symbols survey.

Sadist/Masochist Dominant/Submissive Master/Slave
I am not in a relationship 36% 14% 6%
I have one partner ( not BDSM) 4%
I have one partner (BDSM) 31% 54% 67%
I have multiple partners and my primary relationship is BDSM 5% 13% 13%
I have multiple partners and my primary relationship is not BDSM 17% 11% 2%
I am in more than one relationship of equal status 12% 4% 13%

Masters and slaves: attitudes to BDSM symbols of ownership.

BelasariusIn my BDSM ownership and symbols survey, 43 Master/slaves (M/s) participants answered the following question:

Thinking of symbols of ownership in BDSM, to what extent do you agree with the following statements?

Their responses to each of the question’s statements are below:

BDSM M/s owbership

Symbols of ownership can be used by anybody in any BDSM dynamic, for any purpose

72% of M/s people disagreed with this (58% strongly). 14% of M/s people agreed. and 14% were neutral.

Symbols of ownership are important symbols of commitment and permanence and should be worn and respected as such.

86% agreed (70% strongly). 7% were neutral and 7% disagreed.

Symbols of ownership can be worn to indicate temporary ownership (for example in play sessions)

35% agreed (just 5% strongly agreed); 30% were neutral and 35% disagreed (which meant they thought it was ok).

Symbols of ownership are fun and have no other special significance

Only 7% agreed (none agreed strongly). 5% were neutral. 89% disagreed (77% strongly)

Symbols of ownership should only be worn by the submissive partner(s)

54% agreed. 40% responded neutrally and 21% disagreed.

Symbols of ownership can be worn by all partners

23% agreed (2% strongly). 23% were neutral and 249% disagreed (35% strongly disagreed)

A symbol of ownership can be anything the partner(s) agree on

84% agreed (the same as D/s respondents, but slightly more agreed strongly, 51% of M/s respondents as against – 44% of D/s people), 12% responded neutrally and 4% disagreed.

A collar is the accepted BDSM symbol of ownership.

86% agreed (63% strongly). . 14% were neutral and none disagreed!

Further background on this question can be found here.

 If you found this interesting or useful, please think about doing the BDSM and Money survey, on the impact of BDSM on people’s pockets. Current results will be visible once you have completed the survey

Related articles

Attitudes to ownership symbols; what dominants and submissives say.

 

BelasariusIn my BDSM ownership and symbols survey, 97 Dominant/submissive (D/s) people answered the following question:

Thinking of symbols of ownership in BDSM, to what extent do you agree with the following statements?

Their responses to each of the question’s statements was as follows:

Symbols of ownership can be used by anybody in any BDSM dynamic, for any purpose

36% of D/s people agreed  with this statement. 21% were neutral and 43% disagreed.

Symbols of ownership are important symbols of commitment and permanence and should be worn and respected as such.

75% agreed (53% strongly). 18% were neutral and only 7% disagreed.

Symbols of ownership can be worn to indicate temporary ownership (for example in play sessions)

70% agreed (22% strongly); 16% were neutral and 13% disagreed

Symbols of ownership are fun and have no other special significance

Only 6% agreed (1% strongly). 19% were neutral. 76% disagreed (54% strongly)

Symbols of ownership should only be worn by the submissive partner(s)

33% agreed (quite a lot less than with M/s people). 40% responded neutrally and 21% disagreed.

Symbols of ownership can be worn by all partners

40% agreed (9% strongly). 39% were neutral and 20% disagreed (8% strongly disagreed)

A symbol of ownership can be anything the partner(s) agree on

84% agreed (strongly – 44%), 14% responded neutrally and 1% disagreed strongly.

A collar is the accepted BDSM symbol of ownership.

74% agreed (42% strongly). This was markedly lower than the ratings from S/m participants. 8% were neutral and 8% disagreed!

Further background on this question can be found here.

 If you found this interesting or useful, please think about doing the BDSM and Money survey, on the impact of BDSM on people’s pockets. Current results will be visible once you have completed the survey

Related articles

 

Symbols of ownership – sadists and masochists view

 

BelasariusIn the BDSM ownership and symbols survey I did on surveymonkey, 37 S/m people answered the following question:

Thinking of symbols of ownership in BDSM, to what extent do you agree with the following statements?

An outline of their responses to each of the question’s statements follows:

Symbols of ownership can be used by anybody in any BDSM dynamic, for any purpose

87% of S/m people agreed or agreed strongly (46%) with this statement. Only 6% disagreed or disagreed strongly.

Symbols of ownership are important symbols of commitment and permanence and should be worn and respected as such.

52% disagreed (41% strongly). 30% were neutral and 19% agreed (3% strongly)

Symbols of ownership can be worn to indicate temporary ownership (for example in play sessions)

92% agreed (65% strongly); 5% were neutral and 3% disagreed

BDSM ownership attitudes (S/m)Symbols of ownership are fun and have no other special significance

57% agreed (46% strongly). 19% were neutral. 14% disagreed and 11% disagreed strongly.

Symbols of ownership should only be worn by the submissive partner(s)

52% agreed (38% strongly). 22% responded neutrally and 25% disagreed.

Symbols of ownership can be worn by all partners

44% agreed (14% strongly). 22% were neutral and 35% disagreed

A symbol of ownership can be anything the partner(s) agree on

85% agreed (strongly – 57%), 11% responded neutrally and 6% disagreed.

A collar is the accepted BDSM symbol of ownership.

81% agreed (51% strongly), 19% were neutral and nobody disagreed!

Further background on this question can be found here.

 If you found this interesting or useful, please think about doing the BDSM and Money survey, on the impact of BDSM on people’s pockets. Current results will be visible once you have completed the survey

 

Collar wearing, what do submissives do?

standing stoneIn the survey I did of BDSM symbols and ownership, promoted through my blog and posts on the website Informed Consent, I asked about people’s collar-wearing habits.

Who answered

68 submissive respondents answered this question. Four were masochists, 49 said they were submissives and 15 identified as slaves. 17 people skipped the question. People could choose more than one response.

A BDSM-style collar that buckles in the back. ...

Collar wearing

Half of the masochists (two people) said they wore a collar as a symbol of ownership. 35% of submissives and 67% of slaves said they wore a collar as a symbol of ownership. None of the masochist respondents said they “Never wear a collar, ever” whilst 12% of submissives and seven per cent of slaves said they never wear a collar.

How do submissives in BDSM relationships wear collars
Clicking on this image opens a larger one which may be more easily readable.

24/7?

25% of masochists (Okay – one person) said they wear a collar all the time, compared to 12% and 13%, respectively, of submissives and slaves. This contrasts with those who wear a collar just for BDSM purposes – 25% of masochists, 45% of submissives and 7% (that’s just one person) of slaves do this.

Collars, and other symbols of BDSM ownership.

standing stoneNot surprisingly, the BDSM Ownership and symbols survey showed that:

  • Collars are the top symbol of ownership and;
  • few dominants had any symbols of ownership

More surprisingly, perhaps, some dominant respondents said they DID wear symbols of ownership

Across all respondents, the top ten symbols of ownership were:

A typical slave collar with ring for possible ...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
  • No 1 – No symbol of ownership 46%
  • No 2 – Collar 41%
  • No 3 – Bracelet/bangle 18%
  • No 4 – Tattoo 10%
  • No 5 – Necklace 9%
  • No 6 – Wedding ring 8%
  • No 7 – Piercing 7%
  • No 8 – Ring (not wedding) 6%
  • No 9= – Anklet 2%
  • No 9= – Branding 2%

I’ve published that list before on Informed Consent. The charts below are new. They show what respondents said they wore as symbols of ownership. It was possible to choose more than one item, so percentages don’t add up to 100!

Dominants and symbols of ownership

The chart below shows what dominant respondents said they wore (not what their partners wore) as symbols of ownership, it looks at dominants of all BDSM components.

Overall. 73% of all dominants said they wore no symbols of ownership. All S/m dominants said they wore no symbols of ownership (to be fair, that was just two individuals). 66% of D/s dominants said they wore nothing (23 respondents). 86% of M/s Dominants wear no symbol of ownership (19 people).

Chart 1

The most common symbol of ownership worn by dominant respondents was  a bracelet or bangle (17% said they wore this), followed by a wedding ring (12%).

Submissives – what do they wear?

74 submissives answered this question. As a symbol of  ownership, the collar came top. 68% of all the submissives that answered this question said they wore a collar.  80% of S/m submissive respondents wear a collar to show ownership (4 people).  60% (31 respondents) of D/s submissives said they wear a collar and  88% (15 answerers) of M/s submissives also said they wear a collar to signify ownership.

26% of submissives wear no symbols of ownership.

24% of all respondents say they wear a bracelet/bangle – the second most common symbol of ownership. 25% of D/s respondents and 30% of M/s respondents wear this (no M/s respondents).

The third most common symbol of ownership worn by submissives is the tattoo, worn by 22% overall and 21% of D/s submissive respondents and  29% of M/s submissives who answered.  Necklaces were fourth, but not far behind, being worn by 20% of submissive respondents.

Amongst submissive respondents rings (not wedding), at 11% were more common as ownership symbols than wedding rings (7%).

BDSM Ownership and Symbols Survey – are you owned?

This, my first article on this blog, relates to a survey I did of “Informed Consent” users looking at the symbols, like collars, that they use to display their relationship status and to get an idea of how they regard theses symbols.

Just over 200 people replied – an idea of who they were can be found here.

This blog looks at answers to the question:

Your views on “ownership” – just one selection please, whichever you think most represents your views

Across the entire sample (broken down by principle BDSM orientation) answers were as follows:

Your views on “ownership” – just one selection please, whichever you think most represents your views
Answer Options Sadist Masochist Dominant Submissive Master Slave Response Percent
I consider myself owned or possessed by my partner 1 26 20 27%
I own or possess my partner 0 9 17 15%
I am in a BDSM relationship but do not consider myself or  my partner to be owned. 2 7 1 6%
I believe BDSM ownership is possible 5 18 5 16%
I don’t think BDSM ownership is possible 19 6 0 14%
I believe that there are specific times and occasions when a person in a BDSM dynamic can be owned by their partner 4 27 0 18%
I believe a person can be owned by a person not their partner for a specific time or activity 4 4 0 5%
Answered question       175
Skipped question       29

This data also appears in the column chart below. What stood out for me was the large proportion of people who characterise themselves as either Dominant/submissive (D/s) or Master/slave (M/s) who are in a relationship they characterise as ownership or possession, or who think this is possible. compared to the high proportion of Sadists/masochists (S/m) who don’t think BDSM ownership is possible.

All respondents

Respondents could only choose one answer option.