After nearly two years of getting to know each other she did put flowers in her hair, kneel and tell me her submission was mine. But, it did take that long to establish that trust. And, in the three years since, that trust has increased and, willingly, she’s given me more.
There are things I wish I could do to her and I can’t – because she has not gifted them to me. These things are few and far between – but they exist. So, how can her submission be mine?
The best she can be – for me
It’s this. We are creating a life for ourselves where she strives to be the best she can be for me: Her submission, she says, is her best sense of self expression.
Hang on – let me correct that: Our best sense of self-expression.
I express myself by using her gift of submission to bring the constantly new, constantly changing “my girl” into being. We create delight in each other.
We have both had BDSM relationships before. But before, her submission has been optional – hers to give and take back as she chose. We did not want that.
Thats is why – for us – it is vital that submission is her gift:
A gift is something given without expectation of reward. A gift is never taken back. A gift is given for the joy of it.
I ask for nothing. I take nothing not freely given. I cherish the gifts I am given – and use them as I see fit.
This I do for her.
She keeps only that with which she cannot yet trust me. I strive to be worthy of her next gift, because each one is harder. I desire to use what she has given wisely. Nothing can be given that can be used without responsibility.
We do these things to exalt each other.
Dominance – a gift?
My domination of her is not a gift. Or, no more a gift than the air we breathe. My domination is the tool we use to shape the gifts she gives. It is the storehouse for those gifts. It is the stone on which those gifts are sharpened. But it isn’t a gift: It is a given. It is absolute, with nothing of choice about it.
The only gift is her submission – anything given simply becomes part of the fabric of our life together – and my choice to use. Together we are building a gilded cage she is thrilled to inhabit.
It isn’t pure, of course, Thankfully it is tarnished by love.