Minding her language

An open letter to my girl, re-published from my Informed Consent blog (from 2008).

“it’s sooooooo hard. And it seems sooooo false….” (she thinks she can wheedle almost anything out of me by playing the slightly pouty, slightly sultry card).

“But Darling” I said “I’ll be able to introduce you to the Princess Royal” (not that I’m on nodding terms with the aforementioned royal personage).

“Really Dahling, there are some things you ask that just aren’t me” (stamp of silken trotter).

So she got the lecture. Did she want to please me? “Yes”. Did she want to try to belong to me? “Yes”. So why not indulge me in the things that please me? “Err.. OK, but…”

Did the things I require of her make her feel good – did they in fact make her feel more like the person she wanted to be? “Yes – but it isn’t always easy – sometimes it’s hard” (telephonic arched eyebrow from the domly end of the line) “OK” she said.

The topic we were mostly talking about: language. She has done so well in removing “I” from written communication and is trying very hard orally too (I think I’ve mentioned this before). Ah yes, I mean verbally in this context.

All I’d done was mention that she should now consider abandoning “me” too. And all I got was “But how can I construct a sentence without ‘I’ or ‘me’ in it?”

But she thought about it and tried… and out came: “But one thinks…” at which point I grinned and made the Princess Royal comment – but you could tell that there was still much rankling going on at the other end of the line.

So, I am writing this to let her into a little secret.

Darling. You flog well. I can drip wax onto your beautiful titties until both cats come home. Restrictive bondage is a challenge you relish.

You see the value of our rules regarding dress, grooming and deportment and you find them difficult – because they change the public you and require you to spend time on yourself. But again you try – and you achieve: And you make me proud.

But, do any of these things challenge you intellectually. No, other than in focus and endurance, not at all.

And, what have you found most tricky? Certainly not curtseying, nor your more recent bow. But “Please Sir”? Hmmmm.

Despite my protestations otherwise you are not a bear of little brain. And I see no reason why I should not engage that enormous organ in the service of our holy dynamic.

Set aside for a moment your humanity, empathy, imagination, tenderness, thoughtfulness and all the other qualities that make me love you and ask why I should not challenge your intelligence?

Of course I should. And this does – doing without ‘I’ and ‘me’ is tricky I admit, but I can’t go much further, can I, in focussing you on me, even in my absence, than by asking you to moderate your language.

Now tell me that you won’t enjoy the challenge.