Back in June 2012 I ran a survey on BDSM styles and relationships (or “BDSM – How Do You Like Yours”) which looked at some of the basic components of BDSM interactions.
This article looks at the question “How do various BDSM components fit into your life”. It shows, probably unsurprisingly, that respondents that characterised themselves as sadists/masochists (S/m)ranked things quite differently from dominants/submissives (D/s) and masters (mistresses)/slaves (M/s)
S/m people said pain was better than sex. For M/s respondents control, service and ritual came before a roll in the hay. D/s people put sex first, but only a tiny, tiny bit ahead of control.
More details are found in the charts below – where the top three interactions for each group appear in darker colours and the bottom two in lighter shades.
Background
Respondents were asked to score each area 1- 5 in a range of responses that were:
- I don’t do this
- I dislike this
- This is neither important nor unimportant
- This is important to me
- This is essential to me
The ten areas of interaction were:
- Pain
- Bondage
- Fetish dressing
- Humiliation
- Exhibitionism
- Sex
- Safewords
- Service
- Ritual
- Control
429 people answered the question: 94 said they were sadists/masochists, 277 said they were dominants/submissives and 58 said they were masters/slaves. 31 people skipped the question.
Sadists & Masochists
Those who responded saying they were sadists and masochists put pain a long way ahead of everything else as the thing that was most important to them. Bondage just edged sex into third place. Control, in fourth, was fairly important too. Service and ritual came ninth and tenth.
Masters (mistresses) and slaves.
Control is the biggest thing for respondents in this group, with service coming second and ritual and sex a short way behind, in joint third. The least important factors are fetish dressing and safewords, which trails a long way behind the other factors. Bondage was a little more important than pain to M/s people.
Dominants and submissives
Dominants and submissives were the only group who put sex at the top of their list. And then, it is only a teensy way in front of control, with bondage a little way behind. Pain comes fourth. The two areas that least interest the D/s people who took part are humiliation and, last of all, exhibitionism.
Related articles
- BDSM People and multiple partnerships (from styles and relationships survey) (belasarius.com)
- Safeword Survey – who uses them with their principal partners (belasarius.com)
- BDSM People who like “pain” and safewords (belasarius.com)
A dominant and submissive life 
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