I was reminded last night, in another place, of something I wrote on “Informed Consent” back in 2008.
“Perfection: a dangerous subject: first because it doesn’t exist and secondly, because writing about it might make some think that one won’t settle for anything other. Finally, because a post like this (seriously but lightheartedly meant) is likely to attract comments that range from the witty to the sarcastic.
Still, my shoulders are broad.
I am risking the post, however, because I think a person’s vision of perfection at least gives other people an idea of how the author’s mind works – and that may be useful.
So, here’s my vision of subly perfection – I’ve thought about it and I suspect I’m about to expose myself as the stereotypical male Dom. Here goes:
- She’s proud of herself and likes to make me proud of her too – she strives to excel in all aspects of her life and service.
- She knows her limits but wants to be eased (sometimes cajoled) beyond them
- She desires her limits and wants rules and rituals to reinforce them
- She expects respect – and shows respect
- She sees her submission as part of all of her life and not just a sub set of it
- She gains my attention through her behaviour – but never asks for my attention
- She revels in praise, but accepts that punishment is a vital part of dispute resolution
- She wants me to want to show her off – and her dress, grooming, deportment and behaviour reflect this at all times
- She expects to be protected and adored and is not afraid to expose her vulnerabilities (to me) to achieve this
- She expects to support and nourish me – and thus I am unafraid to expose my vulnerabilities, when I feel them
- She appreciates formality and can associate it with intimacy, not aloofness
- She has strongly held views and expects to express them, in a respectful context.
(and, as suggested by Bearoftwo: “the maturity to accept there will be differences and the attitude and desire to overcome them”)
She delights in delivering her curtsey.
If Betty Page and Audrey Hepburn had had a daughter – she’d be her .”
The rest of that thread is here.
Related articles
- New Submissive’s Tips on Behavior by Jade (asubmissivesinitiative.wordpress.com)
- Submission is NOT Glorious Orgasms! (mysticserotica.wordpress.com)
A dominant and submissive life 
Thank you for posting. It isn’t just you, I think along very similar lines too and although I know perfect to be unobtainable it should not stop people trying. Obviously each Dom and sub will have a different view of perfect and so good communication, ( especially in the early stages,) is vital to ensure a good match.
Reblogged this on emmeunrestrained.