“To be thrilled at the touch of leather, aroused by the sound of harsh words, or satisfied by the security of rigid bondage is the mark of a lover.
“To be thrilled at the opportunity to provide useful service, aroused by a pleased nod, and satisfied by the proverbial job well done, is the mark of a slave.
“It may sound severe. Almost anti-erotic. Until you see two people, owner and owned, existing in a complementary relationship where each suits the other like balances on a delicate scale. Until you feel the energy of their rapport, you cannot understand how they fulfil each other, take and give in ways no negotiation could possibly express.”
This means much to me. I don’t use the word slave of my partner, but I do understand there are those who use it and for whom it is real.
But, this expresses, very closely, for me, the difference between a primarily erotic BDSM relationship and one based on service and responsibility.
I respond to the balance of owner and owned.
I should also emphasise that my thinking does not encompass inequality in the way some do – I think of my partner and myself as equal but opposite.
- Wikipedia on the Marketplace Series
- Marketplace Universe Wiki
- Publishers’ page
- Author’s page
- Author’s Wikipedia
- Author on Twitter @LAntoniou
Originally posted in “Informed Consent, 28 May 2012
- Hooray for Activists (belasarius.com)