I build up a head of steam on this so often that I thought I’d blog.
We love each other and we set this relationship in the framework of a D/s dynamic.
She shares her life with me and with her husband (a non-D/s setting).
Her submission is mine alone (and we are generally fairly medium-to-high protocol when we are together – made easier, we think, by the fact we spend half our lives apart).
We regard ourselves as equal in value but opposite in orientation and consider our roles to be to focus on the other person in the manner which that half of the D/s orientation demands.
So, I try to take responsibility for her and she aims to serve me.
We have hard limits, but within those I act at will and she does not ask for anything she might desire. I provide it, or not, at my discretion.
What we do when we play is my choice, not hers.
This feels real to us.
Recently, we’ve had the opportunity to play with someone and I proposed that, when the playmate is with us for play she should not ask for anything nor be expected to take any decisions about what might be done to her (within her limits). So far this has worked and this feels real too.
Originally from Informed Consent, 16 December 2011