Does “no” mean no?

standing stoneIt does to us.

Someone asked if saying no undermines someone’s submission.

In my view it doesn’t.

My girl knows she has the absolute right to say no to anything I want from her.

She uses that right (dammit).

But, if we try something, develop it – and she finds it breaks no concrete limit, then it becomes part of who we are.

At that time, she can say “No” as often as she wants and know that I can and will ignore it and take what I wish – because i have her informed consent to it. She has lost the right to say “NO!”.

Her submission is her property, until she gives it to me. Then each thing she gives becomes part of our dynamic and is there for me to use.

It helps me see her submission as real – because she volunteers her general consent andTopfer_Reve there is no case-by-case opportunity for her to say “not tonight darling”. Were there an option to say no to something already agreed I would feel she could deny her submission and that would make our dynamic feel less real (to me).

But, if in the throes of play or passion she does say “no” then I stop and find out out why: because no means no: if she needs to say it, I have failed.

Author: Belasarius

I possess the submission of curvy_bottom, we have a medium protocol, D/s relationship - based on the feeling that we are equa and opposite and that we love each other.

One thought on “Does “no” mean no?”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s News

The latest news on and the WordPress community.

The Pageist

One person's perversion is another's normality. --Julie Peakman

Magiksub's Blog

Smile! Soon…….

A dominant and submissive life

By Belasarius and curvy bottom, a British BDSM couple

Dispatches From Dystopia

"What man by worrying can add one cubit to his span of years?"


Our ordinary lives in an open marriage


"a dievca's World" --- exploring the sensual side of Fashion, Style, submission and Life.


The greatest aim to please Him!

Bondage Love

A place to discuss love, relationships, and sex!

Getting Little in the Middle

Info and experience diminishing waistlines with corsetry, by a corset professional and fanatic

The DD Side of Things

The ins and outs of my journey with my husband into our Domestic Discipline Lifestyle!

The Joyful Submissive

Everyone is either fucking everyone, fucking no one, or fucking just one. There there's me.

"Boys in Our Books"...

...we're keeping our name but expanding our offerings!

Submitted To Him

I'm Finally Surrendering...

Shamelessly Guiltless

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.” ~Oscar Wilde


BDSM, Dark Fantasy and Horror Stories by Venom

KinkyLittleGirl - On Abuse and BDSM

A compendium of resources and thoughts about abuse in the BDSM world, and a lot about abuse in general that is useful regardless of one's sexual preferences.


scream to god for death by drowning for one salt taste of the sea once more

A Dominants and submissives Rants & Raves

A Dominant & a submissive shares thoughts, personal stories & experiences.

%d bloggers like this: