I posted this as a thread on Informed Consent on 12 February 08. C_b was just a twinkle in the eye.
I thought it defined aspects of what I saw then as submissive perfection so closely that it was worth putting here: C_B has brought her own brand of perfection, but refleting much of what I thought i wanted too.
Perfection: a dangerous subject: first because it doesn’t exist and secondly, because writing about it might make some think that one won’t settle for anything other. Finally, because a post like this (seriously but lightheartedly meant) is likely to attract comments that range from the witty to the sarcastic. Still, my shoulders are broad.
I am risking the post, however, because I think a person’s vision of perfection at least gives other people an idea of how the author’s mind works – and that may be useful.
So, here’s my vision of subly perfection – I’ve thought about it and I suspect I’m about to expose myself as the stereotypical male Dom. Here goes:
She’s proud of herself and likes to make me proud of her too – she strives to excel in all aspects of her life and service.
She knows her limits but wants to be eased (sometimes cajoled) beyond them
She desires her limits and wants rules and rituals to reinforce them
She expects respect – and shows respect
She sees her submission as part of all of her life and not just a sub set of it
She gains my attention through her behaviour – but never asks for my attention
She revels in praise, but accepts that punishment is a vital part of dispute resolution
She wants me to want to show her off – and her dress, grooming, deportment and behaviour reflect this at all times
She expects to be protected and adored and is not afraid to expose her vulnerabilities (to me) to achieve this
She expects to support and nourish me – and thus I am unafraid to expose my vulnerabilities, when I feel them
She appreciates formality and can associate it with intimacy, not aloofness
She has strongly held views and expects to express them, in a respectful context.
The maturity to accept there will be differences and the attitude and desire to overcome them (an addition courtesy of BearofTwo)
She delights in delivering her curtsey.
If Betty Page and Audrey Hepburn had had a daughter together – she’d be her